It’s been almost 4 months since I weaned my baby Noah off the boob. I think only now I’ve come out the other end!
Noah was 17 months and he was still having breastmilk. As soon as he woke up, he would say “milk!” and would be SO excited to see me! It was the best feeling knowing I gave him that joy. To see his face light was incredibly special. Unfortunately I received news that a loved one was unwell. I knew it meant I may have to return home to Australia to be with my family. Bringing Noah along wasn’t a feasible option so the decision to possibly go alone was difficult. The day came and I had to be with my family. Tickets were booked for a weeks time and it meant I had to slowly wean Noah off. Some asked me why I couldn’t just pump in Australia and continue feeding him when I returned home to Hong Kong. Yes, this was an option but I knew deep down that he was ready to let go. Though he was excited every morning, the feeds got shorter and shorter so I knew he would be ok without it. Two days before I had to fly home was the morning I decided to stop. Noah woke up, asked for milk but I said “mummy doesn’t have any more milk”. He cried and he went to get our breastfeeding pillow. He then said it again whilst pointing to the pillow “Mama, milk!!!”. Again, I told him I had no more milk. My gorgeous husband then stepped in and also told him that Mama doesn’t have any more milk and distracted him. He got over it pretty quickly and went along playing!
The next morning, it was the exactly the same scenario. I’m not going to lie. Every part of me wanted to whip out my boob and feed him but I knew I had to stay strong. I calmly explain it to him and again, he understood. I flew out to Australia that night and I felt empty. Not only was I mourning the loss of a loved one but I was also letting go of that special bond. I cried. A LOT.
I landed in Australia and my husband messaged me. That morning, Noah didn’t even ask for milk! He woke up with his brother, had a cuddle with daddy and all was good! I was so relieved!
The fact of the matter is, though I was so sad, I know my baby is growing up. He may not need me to feed him but he will need me in other ways. Our bond over breastfeeding has now become bonding other thing and making different memories.
To all the mama’s out there who are towards the end of the journey, know that everything will be ok. For now, continue to cherish this time together. You’ve got this mama x